stories are vital to our growth – as children they become the basis for our understanding of right and wrong – of heroes and of villains. we continue this fascination into adulthood, our stories teach us about the values of our society – they provide a framework for understanding, they show us which path to take under the most dire of circumstances. we internalize these stories, we tell ourselves tales every day – what we would do – we try and convince ourselves and the world at large what is important to us, what we are capable of…
it is a small step to allow these stories to outstrip our commitment – to sell ourselves as something greater than we are willing to be. this can happen gradually, insidiously, and in many situations – harmlessly. as a group we learn to distrust every claim, to take certain peoples words with a grain of salt, expecting a 10 to 20% padding “for effect” – soon enough everyone is talking about their “ideals” as if they are actions. they have to say things like “i promise” and “for real” to differentiate those rare moments that they are not full of shit. the story they tell bleeds out into the world, like a fog it impedes perception – in both directions.
physical strain is a beautiful thing – there is no padding in the gym, claims are laid bare and measured. exaggeration and inflation are seen as nothing more than a lack of both self-confidence and personal integrity. throughout most of polite society – we all allow for this self aggrandizement, we don’t confront these stories, we are never held accountable. it can be shocking, the first time someone finds out they aren’t who and what they claim to be – it has happened to us all, the important part is what they do with that information. many people shy away – armor themselves with excuses and carry on as they always have. some people remove themselves from the source of the stress – maintain confidence in their story by never allowing it to be tested. finally, some people decide that confrontation is exactly what they need. some people realize that a fragile sense of self is no kind of tool at all. some people decide to harden to the facts – to change themselves to fit the legend in their mind – to use their sense of self as a tool, as a lever – a force multiplier. to become heroes.
we all have that hero in our minds – that vision of our selves that we wish to be. we all know, in every situation, what that hero would do… but it is difficult. no one will know. no one else is doing it. its not glamorous. its not sexy. its not important…
if it was important, well, then i would follow through…
habits. grand gestures are wonderful but i have a hard time trusting people – doubly so for those people who can not be counted on for simple things. we create a relationship with our word – be it smoke or iron – we re-enforce it every day. we choose.
we choose to make ourselves stronger. calmer. more capable. we mind our words, and would rather eat crow then “get away” with a misstep. we have decided to live in the shadow of our legend – to work towards embodying the traits of that fairytale we keep telling ourselves…
we know what to do. we all do.
it starts with a story, and the will to live up to it.
to train. to practice….
every day.
always.
set-up. create the stress – the situation in which you failed to perform to your liking – back off just enough to execute that moment perfectly – repeat – and repeat -and repeat…
drive and commitment
it is impossible to change if you are unwilling to confront your shortcomings – strength of character is the ability to use ones shortcomings as opportunities, and ones sense of self as a tool. to live up to their expectations.
2mendicant