Archives for August 2015

we often rise to circumstance, but no good deed goes unpunished. the hope is to learn in the process, and fail better next time. a couple days ago a dear friend of mine and a coach at station515 had a confrontation with the outer limits of his physical ability, and the price that swimming in those waters demands – and while i don’t want to think of this as a “rite of passage” it certainly qualifies as a teachable moment.

many of us have experienced the edges of this, a hard workout that leaves you so sore the next day that you have to change your plans. a headache or nausea that lingers for a day, we used to jokingly refer to it as “flu like symptoms” – but there is a tipping point, a level where it is no longer funny and becomes a line of demarkation.

most people are not strong enough to hurt themselves. at least not at first. i don’t mean that they physically lack strength to cause injury, i mean that in the gym they will quit mentally long before they encounter any real physical danger. “hard” work is a constant negotiation, your body sends you signals, information about the cost of your actions and you have to convince yourself to keep carving away at that pound of flesh despite the consequences. in that situation, most people drop the knife at the first sight of blood – but as we train, as we learn to get comfortable with the pain, to manage those costs, we creep, inch by inch, into the deep end and one day we reach our toes down only to realize we cant reach bottom, we are in over our head.

this exhibits in a few ways – cramping, vomiting, blinding headaches, symptoms like food poisoning, burst blood vessels in the eyes and face. symptoms usually last from a couple days to a week – working out during this window is usually nearly impossible and certainly ill advised, but something happens during this forced downtime, something transforms. there is a realization; that every time you “went hard” before this you held back. you left something in the tank. as hard as you may have gone before you had never felt like this. it usually happens by accident, a change in circumstance or scenery – an adjustment or challenge momentarily shifts your self image and you fall victim to L’appel du vide, you gave in to the call of the void and this time nothing stopped you, no one protected you – and now the world looks different. shifted. it is like the your first true heartbreak – it can’t really be “sought out” and no one wants to wish it on someone else, but there is usefulness to be found in the darkness. the bone-deep realization that the world is a little less safe, that risk and consequences are visceral things, they have a taste and a sound and a cost that must be paid. more than that, there is now an understanding that you possess the ability to do real damage. you have earned a bit more responsibility and the freedom to do with it what you will. the safety is off and the gun is loaded, now it is up to you to hit your target and avoid shooting yourself in the process.

i don’t mean to romanticize this. anyone who has felt it or even witnessed the effects will tell you that it is far from flattering – but that does not mean it isn’t useful. it is a shift in perception. a changing of the rules. after someone goes through that fire it is now up to them to hold the reigns – because we do not get better by doing this – it is a tool with an extremely high cost, and one that does not get cheaper with frequent use. it is physically damaging and even from the most meat headed perspective, it benches you from meaningful training for at least a couple days. but after something like this we realize that we are responsible for these costs – and we can exercise judgement of when it is worth it. we are more capable of making that decision, of exerting our will. most of the time in the gym we chase numbers as reflections of our ability, moments like this are shifts in perception. they are lessons that once felt will never be forgotten. they replace fear and uncertainty with knowledge and a price tag. athletes i train don’t pull this pin in the gym, once they know what is possible it is reserved for when it really counts. gym rats are allowed to poke around its borders maybe once or twice a year, just to remind themselves what they are capable of. it is uncertain territory, and we as individuals need to balance risk and reward. it is a dark and expensive endeavor. it is a tool.

wield it wisely.

 

-the station.

“When in a fight to the death, one wants to employ all one’s weapons to the utmost. I must say that to die with one’s sword still sheathed is most regrettable.”

-Miyamoto Musashi

 

somedays i feel like the largest part of my work is cleaning up other peoples mess. trying to undo misconceptions about training and change in general – thinking about thinking, and thinking about thinking differently. because it seems that the hardest thing to convince people of is that things that are “true” now will not always be – things that were true, were useful and proper – are now the problem, the barrier to progress. many facts we speak of are based on common assumptions, unspoken variables that make it true right now – but only for a moment. the closer you examine these facts the more visible the framing becomes – caveats pop up and eventually there are so many disclaimers and modifiers that this fact is less like a hammer blow and more like a leaky bucket. in an attempt to be honest we end up sounding like bad politicians constantly back-tracking and hedging our bets. so maybe it is a time for a different tool.

i heard of a brief study about metaphor being more effective than facts in the pursuit of changing peoples minds.  it makes a lot of sense, framing new information as something old – accepted and unquestioned – of course it is easier to incorporate, but it goes deeper than that. metaphor can be used to turn a logical argument into an emotional one. metaphor can strip off the nuance and the circumstance of a scientific argument and turn it into a glaring, gut wrenching truth. now, this can be seen as dishonesty, as hackery and of politicking an otherwise constructive discussion – but when it comes down to it we sometimes have to make the choice between being honest and being useful.

 

that decision is a crossroads – make no bones about it. it can change a relationship, define it. it is dishonest and manipulative and often absolutely necessary. to take a fact, a dry piece of often unpleasant information and encapsulate it – turn it into something simple and stirring – something that slips past the logical filters and into our blood and our bones. the right metaphor can shift perception in an instant, can convince someone – erroneously or not – that they already agree with you, that they have all along. in general i abhor dishonesty and manipulation – but when it comes to change, to the gritty work of transforming myself and those who have entrusted me with their progression, i have found no greater lever. no sharper blade. wielded with responsibility and ruthless purpose it is possible to reshape ideas, to reframe vital changes and use our hatred of cognitive dissonance to help us shun habits that no longer serve us.

metaphor is simplification, it is emotional entrapment. it is imprecise, dishonest, and bloody useful.  it is a tool. a weapon. when you know where you are and where you wish to go it may be the bridge necessary to transform a fact you know into something you feel. something that elicits an emotional response, an automatic reaction. now – i am fully aware that i often implore individuals to avoid overly emotional reactions, to create space and act with a clear head – but if that is not a possibility than i will settle for the proper reaction for a less than ideal reason. simply stated, this is about progress, not perfection. about understanding the tools at your disposal and the costs associated with their use. this is about control. about taking responsibility, about recognizing where you are right now, and deciding that – from this moment forward – you will be something better.

 

it’s just training.

 

just exercise.

 

nothing more.

 

-the station

 

it is better to think of training more akin to directions than hard facts – up, down, left, right – they are relational pressures, they only make sense when you have a location and a goal – and if someone told you to turn right, go a mile, and turn left – you wouldn’t accuse them of being inconsistent.